As Unto the Lord
I had an unusual encounter yesterday. Someone I had never met, who has started attending the church came into my office to take me to task about the fact that we don't start our services with an opening prayer. I'm not sure he would have come to me except that he was ushered there by another staff member. No formalities, little introduction, not the usual compliments before the blow. He didn't even know my name. I said I wasn't against having an opening prayer but I pointed out that we have a significant prayer time later in the service every Sunday. But as I responded he stiffened. He then suggested that not having an opening prayer meant prayer was not important to me and that was probably because I was a music minister...meaning I only care about music. Ouch! I said, "Well, I am the Worship Minister" and that I cared about and was responsible for more than the music. He asked about how the leadership was involved in such decisions about worship...I think I lost my smile somewhere after that. He said, "I said what I came to say" and left.
I am used to criticism, it comes with the territory. When I first went into worship ministry a wise professor once prayed over me that I would "have a heart of praise and the hide of a hippopotomus". Seldom is the criticism the "face to face" type. Normally it comes via e-mail or written on the "How has this service impacted you?" or "prayer request" sections of the bulletin response form. Normally it is something about "music too loud", "not enough hymns", " I don't like singing during communion time" or inappropriate times for clapping...like you can do something about that. Then there is the occasional magazine article in the mailbox with certain passages underlined.
I think it comes for many reasons. Much of it is good intentioned, some is just grumpiness, some is just plain mean. I also get a lot of positive feedback too, but you know human nature, we are more likely to try to fix things that bug us than to commend things that are going well. On the receiving end, it seems to take a lot more "atta boys" to emotionally balance the "concerns". It's especially tough when someone discourages one of your team members.
You can get to the point in ministry where all you do is try to avoid criticism, or perhaps worse, begin to work just for the praise. The essential problem is, the people don't agree, so the goal of people pleasing is unatainable. I have heard of artists and writers who no longer read their critics because it sucks the life out of them. Obviously some critics aren't worth the time to listen to and may even be tools of an enemy trying get you to quit serving...but then, the Proverbs have a lot to say about accepting correction from the wise.
Here is an attempt to deal with it.
1. First and foremost, seek what that Lord said He wants...do everything I do "unto the Lord" and not just to please men. I am ultimately accountable to Him.
2. Relating closely to the first...Have a biblical philosophy of ministry. Think through why I do what I do so others don't have to do it for me. So it follows- if an issue is really that important, it needs a book, chapter, and verse.
3. Invite and listen to the honest, loving criticism of spiritual leaders I trust.
4. Realize people have other problems that just make them sound off at times, i.e. give grace.